I am living a life I am proud to live. A life I want to share with everyone. I have a spirituality I want everyone to experience. A peace and calm I never thought possible.
I worked hard to have it. I work hard to keep it. It doesn't just come. You have to work for it.
I'm losing weight. Slowly but surely.
I can tell not because I weigh myself, but because the fat I have on me is becoming softer.
Softer? Squishier? Saggier? Not as firm.
I am embracing it. Because I know it means there are changes happening. Changes that I am helping to make because of choices I have decided to make.
I am able to control my outbursts more often now.
I am able to notice when I am being unfair to my children, most of the time.
I still questions my ability to parent daily. How much am I screwing my kids up? Will they ever forgive me for not knowing how to parent? Am I a good parent?
My kids know about my alcoholism and have been with me every step of the way on my journey to live sober. It isn't just my journey though. It is our journey.
They didn't know how to live with a mom who didn't drink and I didn't know how to be a mom without drinking. We are all learning, but we are all, for the most part, happy. Happier. More content.
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