Preparing for a Goodbye

May changes happening.  So super exited about them.

One thing I am supposed to do is write a love letter/good bye letter to alcohol.

Oh alcohol.  Can't lie, I miss the taste.  I miss the feeling I got when drinking it.

But I think I am romanticizing it.

I don't miss the hangovers and panic of waking up, wondering who I talked to and insulted the night before.

Had I gotten violent?  Had I said hurtful things?

I was horrible when I was drinking.

I was what you would call a "raging" alcoholic.  I was raging angry.  I hated myself.  I thought I didn't deserve to be loved or to live.

Thank God I have AA now.

So when I write my letter to alcohol, I may just share it.

Because alochol put me on the path to be who I am today.  I wouldn't be as happy as I am now without the trouble and problems it caused me.

I wouldn't be married with children without alcohol.

The relationship is bittersweet.

But sometimes, even though something or someone has done so much for you, it can and also tear you down and bring you down.  I don't want alcohol to have that power over me.

So it is time to write my goodbye forever.

We had some good times alcohol, but I never want to live those bad times again for as long as I live.