Third AA Meeting

I just had my third AA meeting.  AA.  Alcoholics Anonymous.  Me.

I cried through my first meeting.  I was so scared.  More than that, I was exhausted.  Tired of hiding everything.  I hid my alcohol.  I hid my hangover.  I hid my lies.  I hid my shame.  I hid me.

So I cried.  I cried and it felt good.  It felt amazing to hear people talk about things I thought only I felt.  I was no longer alone.

My second meeting was great.  I was looking forward to it so much.  I also met my sponsor there.  Apparently lots of people take a while to get a sponsor.  I've never been one to wait around.  I spoke during my second meeting.  Just a big.  A very abridged version.  Extremely.  Like, 5 minutes of my life.  However, it felt good.  it felt right.

I haven't had a drink since the 16th of June.  The 19th was my first meeting.  I skipped Saturday.

I have been thinking.  A lot.  A lot, a lot.  I have come to realize I was turning into someone I didn't like.   I was turning into someone I had never forgiven.

My mom.  My biological mom.

Now I am ready to work on that.  I want to work on me.  On my sobriety.  My family.  I want to love me.  I want to be serene.  I want to feel serenity.

I will have it.

One day at a time....