6th, 7th and 8th

Last night I worked with my sponsor on the 6th, 7th and 8th steps.

In going through the steps and praying and making sure in my heart and soul that I am ready to let go of all of my defaults of character and weaknesses.  I want the anger and hurt taken away.  I want to feel protected without ME having to protect me.  I want to give it all over to God.

I never want to go back to the person I was before I chose to live a sober life.

I never want to go back to a household of screams and tears and curses.

I never want to rely on a bottle to drown my feelings.

I never want to not have faith that God will take care of me and my family.

I went into AA thinking it would just give me the tools to control my drinking.

I am learning that by working the steps, I will never be able to control my drinking, but I am choosing to hand my life and will over to God so I don't have to try to control it.

The only thing I can control is my faith.  To live this life sober, I have to give myself to God and do His will.  My will got me where I am, His will will set me free.

I have to trust in Him, that He will provide for me and my family.  I have to ask Him for help in how I live.

Alcoholics Anonymous is not just a meeting or a program.  It is a way of life.  It is a spiritual journey through yourself so you can be the best possible you.  It has saved my life.  It gave me a new outlook on life and how I live.  I wake up in the morning and don't curse the world or run to the bathroom to vomit from drinking the night before.  I don't wake up wanting water or electrolytes.

I don't yell at my kids.  I don't yell at my husband.

I don't yell at people on the road who almost hit me in my car.  My road rage is gone.

I don't dwell on the past.

I am learning to Let Go and Let God.

And I want to stand on top of a mountain and shout to the world how light and happy and content I am because of it.

I want to share what I have learned with everyone.

I want to be the person God knows I can be and the person my children need me to be.

I am not just sober.  I am living a sober lifestyle

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And it is extraordinary.